Knowledge, Belief and Desire Oh My!

Once again this is an assignment for my 17th Century Literature graduate class. Since I do not have ANY spare time at the moment to write on this blog, I figured this was as close to a free write as I am going to get before May. Interesting questions...

1. What is the MOST important question/knowledge in life? (In other words, if you knew the answer to THIS one question, you would be sure of how to live your life). Why is this question so important? What difference would the answer/knowledge make to you?

I am really terrible at making decisions and thus I am having a really hard time with this question. There are so many important questions in life that if I knew the answers, I think I could lead a more fulfilling life. Since I can only pick one, in my opinion, the most important question/knowledge in life is what is the root of evil (understood as full of rage, vengeful, full of hate). With so much natural tragedy in the world, why does there also need to be evilness? What causes people to be evil?  If I knew the answer to this question, I would be able to adapt better in the face of evilness. Right now, when I see an aspect of evilness it shakes my core; it dumbfounds me. If I knew the root of evilness, maybe I could help alleviate it, or at the very least I could better protect my emotional well being from it. If I knew the root of evilness, I could to some degree rationalize things that don’t seem possible to rationalize. Or I could dismiss evilness and evil people, without being troubled by the notion that there is a goodness within everyone.

2. What are some differences between seeing something and knowing something?

The obvious answer is God. You may not be able to physically see God, but many people believe they know He exists. There is the phrase, “I’ll believe it when I see it,” and for the most part my mind adheres to this concept. However, last night I was kept in my night class late, about ten minutes. While driving home, I realized I had just missed a six-car accident on route 81 North by about ten minutes. I drive that route home every night. Now one can chalk it up to coincidence or luck, but fate tugs at my spiritual heartstrings. Fate is not something you can see, but at times it is something I feel I know exists.  Knowing something that you cannot see often exists in the depths of your soul. You know it and believe it because you feel it. Seeing something is a more instant and structured belief, however, there are many instances where people misread and do not see things exactly as they appear.

3.a) Whom or what do you believe in? Another way of putting this question is “When your world is crumbling down around you, in whom or what do you put your faith or your trust in?” Be careful, here. If you say you have faith in nothing, I will then ask you how sure you are you of that claim? Obviously, if you say, “I’m pretty sure,” then you have faith in something: the truth that you are certain of nothing. In other words, to claim that you believe in nothing is logically self-defeating, and therefore non-defensible; everyone puts their trust or faith in some thing or one. What is that “something” or “someone” for you?

When I am going through a difficult time I often remind myself that good things happen to good people, but bad things do not happen only to bad people. I also remind myself that bad things do not last forever. If giving myself some degree of perspective does not seem to work, then I confide in my partner and my family for strength and reassurance that I am strong enough to overcome anything. I was always told by my college softball coach to “control the controllables.” This phrase gives me a sense of power and hope when I feel powerless and hopeless.

b) Now, try to explain what your certainty/sureness/faith/trust in this being/person/idea is based or built upon. What warrants (gives you reasons for) your belief or trust or faith?

My belief in the fact that good things happen to good people is based in logic. It makes sense to me that if you are a good person who does good things for others and tries to live an admirable life, then your life will generally be good. Over time I realize that more than anything else, living by this concept really just means that I am an optimist. My positive attitude is what keeps me believing in this concept. When something bad happens, I think about all the good things that have happened in my life and thus I affirm my belief that good things happen to good people. As far as my trust in my partner and family, well that is simply based in love. The unconditional love I feel for them and my desire to do and be absolutely anything they need, allows me to believe that this feeling is reciprocated. 

"Do all the good you can, in all the ways you can, to all the souls you can, in every place you can, at all the times you can, with all the zeal you can, as long as ever you can." ~ John Wesley

c) How sure are you of the object of your trust (how much faith do you have) on any given day? What factors affect your ability to believe/trust/have this faith? What could totally shatter your faith or trust? What could completely confirm it?

I am 100% sure in the object of my trust every day. The factors that affect my ability to trust my partner and family are based simply on the mutual love we have expressed for each other over time. Also, the actions of my partner and family in the past further cement my trust in them to continue to be there for me now and in the future. It would take something tremendous to shatter my trust and faith in the people I trust. I think if I was going through something incredibly difficult and expressed my need for their help and they abandoned me (for the simple fact of just not wanting to help), then my trust would be shaken, but not shattered. It would take more than an isolated incident to shatter my trust. My trust is confirmed every day when I think about my partner and family, and know that if I needed absolutely anything, emotional or physical support, I could call any of them and feel safe and taken care of. Again, the idea of being an optimist at heart plays strongly in this trust. 

"Confidence in the goodness of another is good proof of one's own goodness." ~ Michel de Montaigne 

4. a) What is your deepest desire? How is your life focused on achieving/realizing that desire? Explain.

My deepest desire is to find a balance of a fulfilling life in which I positively impact the lives of others. My life is focused on achieving my career goal of being a college field hockey coach and professor. Currently I am working on my master’s degree, while gaining valuable coaching experience as an assistant coach with one of the best field hockey programs in the country. I look to my former and current coaches and teachers as examples of the life I want to lead. Teachers and coaches profoundly affected me throughout my life. They taught me some of the most valuable lessons I will ever know and encouraged me to fulfill my dreams and give back. As a coach and teacher, I want to encourage personal growth, community involvement and an unselfish striving towards a better life for all people. I truly think I can achieve my goals of positively impacting others lives through my work as a coach and teacher. Similarly, my desire to help others and be a mentor inspires me to instill these characteristics in my family and hopefully one day my children. 

b) What, if anything, is the relationship between what you most deeply desire and what you have faith in? If there’s no relationship, how do you account for the disconnect between the two?

The relationship between my desire to impact people’s lives and my faith in the fact that good things happen to good people are directly related. I want to live the best life I can and by that I mean a life that is completely fulfilling for me and the people I interact with. I want to positively influence and be influenced by others. My desire to achieve and reach my career goals, which will put me in the place I want to be to help others, is a journey motivated by goodness. This idea of goodness is what I have faith in. I want to live life with the sense of paying it forward and allow goodness to become a wonderful, never-ending cycle in my lives and the lives I’ve been lucky enough to experience.

c) To what extent does the fulfillment of your desire depend on YOU? How much depends on factors/people/forces beyond your control?

The fulfillment of my desire depends on me more than anything or anyone else. If I put in the work and get good grades and take advantage of all the opportunities I can, I believe I will be able to be a strong candidate for a head coaching position at a college and someday a strong Ph.D candidate too. However, it is true that the admissions department at any given Ph.D program has the power to stop my desire in its tracks. Also, the job market and coaching vacancies when I graduate are beyond my control. Once I am in a full-time position I truly believe it is all up to me on how and to what degree I inspire others. Like I have said before, I can only control the controllables. I can control my work ethic, my dedication and determination. If I give everything I have, I trust good things will happen.

d) What if you fail to achieve/realize your deepest desire? What will failure mean to you?

Failure is not an option for me. If I do not become a college coach or professor I will not consider that a failure. I do not have to be a college coach or professor to influence and inspire people. I could be a high school teacher or start a non-profit or donate my time and money. The goal is to do something I love that inspires me and thus inspires others too. I think that I would be most happy coaching and teaching. I think coaching and teaching is a great avenue to inspire young adults. However, if that desire does not pan out for me, then I will direct my energy elsewhere. The only type of failure I can foresee for myself is not doing everything I absolutely could to make my desires happen. If I do not give it everything I have and expel goodness as I do it, then yes I have failed. I am in control of that though, so I will not let myself fail.

"Goodness is the only investment that never fails." ~ Henry David Thoreau
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Book recommendation:
Freakonomics by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner

*It will force you to at least consider how seemingly unrelated instances can in fact directly affect each other.