Is achieving your dream life's greatest individual goal? Your dream might be a husband, two kids, a white picket fence and a dog named Sparky. Your dream might revolve around the number of digits in your paycheck or the number of houses with your name on the mortgage. Your dream might look like smiling faces of kids in your classroom or spending each day outside in the natural world and calling it "work." Whatever your dream is, can you ever really achieve it? Is the journey ever really over or does the "dream" continue to transform, grow and stay at arm's length?
My "dream" has always had many layers. When I was younger I wanted to be a marine biologist, a professional athlete (the first woman in the NBA), a doctor, a non-profit CEO, a high school English teacher, a college professor, and a writer among many other occupations. As an "adult" I set my sights on becoming a college field hockey coach although somewhere inside me still lives the writer, philanthropist and teacher. Many of my earlier occupation dreams crossed themselves off the list as I grew up. I would never become a marine biologist because I realized I was creeped out by "deep water". I would get anxious and sometimes still do when I jump off the "back" of the raft at my grandparents' house on Lake Winnipesaukee (the water is probably 8 feet deep). I was an above average athlete at an average high school, whic made me an average college athlete like thousands of other former "above average" high school athletes. I fainted at the sight of blood and closed my eyes at gory sights in movies and on TV. I tried working in a cubicle at arguably one of the coolest workplaces in Massachusetts, but I could not stay boxed in. I am not a CEO of a non-profit organization nor do I aspire to be, but I do volunteer at the local food pantry and constantly try to stay invovled in the community. I am not a high school English teacher, but I still toy with the idea of being an English tutor. I also find myself editing friends' papers and grad school applications as well as helping to creat resumes and cover letters. Currently, these blog posts are the extent of my creative writing outlet at the moment, but I still have high hopes for myself in this area. I have my Master's Degree and often I think about being an adjunt professor in Introduction to Writing or some other etnery level, core literature class at a local community college. What I am is a college field hockey coach. So why, when I seemingly have every opportunity at my fingertips and almost everything I have worked towards during the last 5 years, do I still feel the pull of a different reality, a similar dream, but a different, unreachable one?
A quick Google search of Satisfaction states that satisfaction is, "The fulfillment or gratification of a desire, need, or appetite." Why am I not satisfied? Is it because I am a coach who instills in her players that they should never be satisfied. Never settle or become complacent. Always work towards a bigger goal. You are capable of more than you think and you should strive for it. These are all things I tell my players over and over again. My coaches told me the same things. Does anyone out there feel satisfied? Should we?
Right now, I picture a small, fluffy, adorable, albeit brainless hamster running as fast as he or she can on a never ending wheel set up inside my brain. The faster the hampster runs the more tired it will get. However, its quicnkess and determination will not affect its progress. Are lateral moves or promotions just part of a bigger spinning wheel that humans continue to run on at varying speeds and effort levels? There are people in the world that are satisified. Have these people grown complacent or have they found a way to beat the cylcical pattern that is duty, happiness and lifestyle?
As I ponder the future, I can only hope that my ambition will one day be tempered with a fullfilling sense of satisfaction with the things I have accomplished and continue to accomplish on a daily basis. Until then, I will join hundreds of thousands of others who try to outrun the wheel each day and hopefully, more often than not, I might hop off the wheel, take a deep, satisfactory breath and take it all in.
STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES
While I have not read this yet, it came highly recommended from a fellow coach:
That's Outside My Boat: Letting Go of What You Can't
Control by Charlie Jones and Kim Doren
Right now, I picture a small, fluffy, adorable, albeit brainless hamster running as fast as he or she can on a never ending wheel set up inside my brain. The faster the hampster runs the more tired it will get. However, its quicnkess and determination will not affect its progress. Are lateral moves or promotions just part of a bigger spinning wheel that humans continue to run on at varying speeds and effort levels? There are people in the world that are satisified. Have these people grown complacent or have they found a way to beat the cylcical pattern that is duty, happiness and lifestyle? 
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